:)

So another Dr visit.  He said the little lump I found is not anything to worry about.  It is some scar, or some other type of tissue the has collected.  He just wants me to message it, hopefully it will go down in size and go away.

The thing he was most concerned about is my voice.  It comes in and out.  Most of the time it is in, but it still goes out.  When he first came in I said "Hello" and of course it went out, so he was concerned, because he had talked to me on the phone and it sounded okay.  We talked and my voice came back.  I told him that I have noticed stress can seem to affect (hope I used the right word) it.  He said that seems to make sense.  He would expect that by the end of the day that vocal cord is getting tired and it seems that stress would do the same.

I really like Dr. Gilbert.  He is so willing to talk to me about any concerns, silly or not.  He also, gives me all the information there is and works to make sure I understand it too.  Then, tries to make sure I emotionally okay with everything.  He is the kind of person who I think chose well in his vocation.  He has great "bedside" or exam room manner!!  Another way I know I am blessed!!

Less than a month after having cancer removed and I feel so at peace (even with the finances-not that I know how I am going to take care of it, or how long it will take-I just know it will be okay) with  everything in my life and very happy with life!!!

:)

Monday is over.. I have had an amazing night's sleep, as I am  praying I realize that I am....HAPPY!  Ridiculously Happy.  How is that?  Yesterday I got the news that I most likely have cancer and I feel happy.  I know I am not happy about the cancer, so what is it?  Am I in denial?  No, I know that cancer is really in the picture now.  

Peace, peace, that is why I am so happy.  I feel so much peace about this.    I have no doubt that I need to get my thyroid out.  There is no way I can logically think of that this lump aka cancer should have been found.  Every time I have been tested for thyroid problems they come back in the "normal" range.  The lump I felt is not the cancer, but that silly lump is what  started this whole thing.  Peace is making me happy.  Peace, that my Heavenly Father is giving me such a sweet tender mercy.  Peace that He is here to guide me to do what is right.  Peace that my Savior Jesus Christ is with me, giving me this peaceful, and RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY feeling.  

Jackie and Jodie tell me that they didn't sleep well.  I am thinking they got sick from dinner.  But Jodie says she worried all night about me.  I tell her how happy I am and how much peace I feel, hopefully I can help others feel the peace I feel.  I know there are a lot of people that need to be updated, but I don't really feel like I can just send a text or email.  So I spend a lot of my day on the phone. 

June 27th Wednesday - The surgery is set for Friday July 6.  I get a call from Dr. Gilbert, the blood work is back.  It seems there are a few tests they have done to check the function of my thyroid.  All of them show that mine is not working at all.  In fact, for one of the tests "Normal" is 0-10, I am at...500.  So nothing about it seems to be working.  We discuss how that will affect the surgery.  Since one side of the thyroid seems to have cancer and the other side is not functioning we decide we will just take the entire thyroid out.  This will cut the length of the surgery, but lengthen the outpatient time.  

I still feel happy, and at peace with this whole thing.  I know that in the end everything will be okay.  Now I know that the middle is gonna be kinda yucky, but I will be good in the end.  What is  there not to be happy about?

Sunday July 1st, I still feel good about what is happening I have asked myself and others if maybe I just don't understand what is happening, but I believe in my heart that I do, and Heavenly Father is giving me Peace and my Savior is giving me the comfort I need.    

But it is Sunday and Fast Sunday to boot.  I can feel my emotions (the not happy ones) come to the surface, ready to come out.  Most of the day I can do okay, but every once in awhile I can feel the nerves come when someone who knows says something.  Still there is so much peace.

Peace, I love that word.