July 6, 2012
Surgery today. I took treats for those poor souls who came to sit and chat while I was under. The surgery started late so I sat in a gown with an iv and a bunch of people who sat with me for an hour or so. Finally they wheeled me into the operating room and asked me to move the the operating table. All I could think was "I am pretty sure I have been VERY CLEAR about wanting to be OUT for all of this and here I am awake. Then they gave me a little mask and I was out. I do remember waking up and needing to go to the bathroom, and knowing I couldn't make it to a bathroom so a cammode was brought close to the bed. I also remember throwing up in a trash can. None of that seem fun. It wasn't.
I do remember a few more things. I remember that Heidi was in the room for me to make sure I was okay. I know this is not something she likes to do. It means the world to me that she is doing this for me. I know people are coming in and out. I feel so loved. But my head and my stomach hurt so much I can't do much!! When Heidi leaves Sally settles in and spends the night with me.
I don't really remember much until Saturday. I am thankful for family and friends who have been with me the whole time. When Sally left, Susan was there to take over, then Jody came to be with me until they sent me home.
Dr. Gilbert comes to visit, and see how I am doing and tell me how things went. It seems that when he was taking out the thyroid he found that there was not only the 2 lumps on the right side, but there was also a lump on the left side that had not shown up on the scan. He makes it clear he can't be certain, but he felt all the lumps and he doesn't really think the large one is cancer, but thinks the two small ones may be.
I don't know if I have every really let myself believe that this was cancer. I know we are talking about it, but it still seems unreal. But what has me is there is another lump we knew nothing of. How did that happen? How was it never seen? Yet, somehow it seems like this lump is going to be cancer, if any of them are.
It only makes sense in this odd little universe I seem to have found myself living in these past few weeks. I go from an odd gland in my neck to growths on my thyroid that are not that odd gland, to concern for cancer to somehow there being another growth.
I am convinced that Heavenly Father is watching out for me and each thing is Him showing me He is in charge of me and is taking care of me. This whole things is just another testament to me that this is true.
I spend most of the day in the hospital. First with Heidi, then Sally, and then Sue and now with Jody. I am amazed they are willing to put aside their stuff with hospitals to be with me. I do love them.
It's almost time to leave and my mouth feels funny, so instead of letting me go they run one more blood lab work...turns out things are okay, in fact my calcium levels are up. So I am off to home....Jody and Phil's home. They have things set up for me. There is a nice spot on my favorite couch and a little tray with plenty of water some flowers and my meds. Along with all of that there is a sweet little lady and her cute brothers who are right there to take care of anything I need. So with them and pain medication life is just perfect! Okay for someone who just got their neck cut open I am doing perfect. I get to spend lots of time asleep and when I am awake I Meg is doing whatever she can to help for me.
This is what life is like for the next few days. Wake up get nursed by Meg and her family, take some meds and go back to sleep. I am trying to keep my neck covers, There is a big drain coming out of my neck, and lots of bandages as well. I don't want to freak the kids out. I remember when I was really young, Mom had her veins striped. Dad wanted me to spend time with her. I did and it scared me something awful. Then years later when I was taking care of her, we talked about it, and she hated having me in with her as much as I did. (Funny this memory came back now)
Monday morning Jody takes me to the Dr. He takes out my drain. Yuck. I couldn't watch as he took out the stitches and the drain. But I have to be honest, I did want to see what had been in my neck. It looked like about a foot of weather stripping. It was freaky, hopefully it will feel better. It's been like I have something stuck in my throat. When we get back to Jody's I am wiped out and fall back to sleep. When I feel like I can do it, Jody and the kids take me to my house. Surprise I spend the rest of the day sleeping.
Tuesday Jodie calls and wants me to come to here house for awhile. So she comes and gets me and I spend a few hours. It is nice to just sit in the sun.
I also talked to the Dr. He said they had gotten the results back. Okay, this is it. The large complex mass is not cancer, the small solid mass is just a calcified mass. Then there is the third mass that was on the left side. This one was cancer. Yep, it's that word. There was cancer.
The world kept moving, but my mind was not with it. It just stopped and realized again this whole thing is a miracle. I find a swelling that isn't a lump but it leads the Dr.'s to find 2 lumps. We plan on taking out only half of my thyroid and then test for cancer, which they would not have found. But we decide to take out the entire thyroid, doing this they find another lump we didn't know existed, and that last undetected lump is the one that has cancer. MIRACLE!!
Then Dr. Gilbert says that the size of the cancer is small enough that I will not need to do any radiation.
He asks if I feel okay and if I have questions. I say something like okay, other than being cancer free this is the best results, right. He says yes!!
So happy so blessed!!! Now just going to take time to get well.
